My Cat Bella

On my travels I've had many ups and downs, times of the deepest sadness and times of pure joy. The one being I've missed the most is my cat Bella. When living in Florida when I was going through bad times, she would always be there to comfort me and I miss that so much.

You see me and Bella have been together for many lifetimes, she's been my cat companion for a very long time and I always think of her and I love her deeply, we are connected through love.

My recent travel was very difficult, I was deeply saddened by the circumstances and so I decided to visit a park nearby my hotel. Soon I realized that this park is literally full of cats! You can imagine my excitement! As I was walking along petting as many cats that would allow me to I came upon her, a cat that looked exactly like my Bella.

You see Bella is a Norwegian forest cat, with long black fur with some brown undertones. A very rare and antique breed. This cat looked exactly, exactly like her! So I bent down and said "hi Bella can I pet you? Bella can I pet you?" She immediately started purring and came over to me and rubbing her body against me. Then she put her front paws on my lap, I took this as a signal that I was allowed to pick her up, so I did and we walked over to a nearby bench. She stayed with me the entire time I was there, just laying with me, she even let me kiss her nose the way I used to kiss Bella, just giving me her love.

I am so grateful for her love! I needed it so badly! I know Bella was channelled there, I know it was her! She knew that I needed her!

I just wanted to share the deep connection we have with our animal friends, and they are there when we need them no matter where we are. And also how grateful I am for this connection and the deep connection with the universe.

Again and again

I've been to heaven
I've taken long journeys in hell
Sat in darkness with my eyes closed
Until they came to wake me up
I've built myself up and torn myself down again
I walked through hell again
I've cried I've died
Dismissing the thought of breathing again
But I woke up again
They came to pick me up
To show me the light again
To guide me again
Then for a moment I could see it
Perfect clarity graced me
Tempting me to hope again
But it is still winter
Spring is forgotten in the ice crystals
And I am walking in hell again
Some warm breeze tickles my mind
And I can see the green again
The green I can find
The change in my mind
The season of change is in range
The cold still bites at my soul
But the warmth
The promise kisses the hope of change
Kissing me again and again

Patience

My waters are usually flat, serene, unmovable
They keep dumping their pollution
They create tsunamis, tempest, whirlpools
Instability
Then my own sadness
The touch of pleasure
The touch of freedom
The box is getting smaller
Or I'm getting bigger
Expanding
Craving transcendence
My heart is suffocating
It is exploding or imploding
It is a chaotic space
A space of creation
A space of destruction
It is a hell trying to transform into heaven
It is the burning and the dissolution
You can see its wings
The gold the red
The ashes the smoke
The pain the pleasure
The tears the stabs
The center bleeds
It bleeds then expands
It bleeds and heals
It searches, searches, searches
Found
It waits, waits, waits