Saturday, July 11, 2020

And they were

And they were gathered all together, huddled together deep in thought, 
Wondering how it could be, how possibly love had escaped them, wondering how they ended up here in this space, this empty, dark space all together. 
They wondered, what does it mean and why is it so dark? 
How could a light so bright just fizzle and die. 
Will it come back? Will we see it in this dark space? Is there hope? 
While they were sitting and thinking and wondering, a little firefly flitted by. Most had their heads down staring at the dark cold ground, but a few others, a very few held their heads high and were looking towards the sky. In that moment they knew yes there is hope yes, I will leave this place, out of the dark into the light once more. And their hearts grew happy and light and so they started to look for signs to determine the best way out. 
They looked to the others who were still sitting with their heads bowed low to the ground an and they told them that they had seen a firefly, however the others wouldn't believe them, they wouldn't even look up. 
So the few came together and started to share ideas on how to get out of that dark place, and the more ideas they shared their hearts began to glow brighter and brighter until eventually another firefly flitted by. 
So now there were two fireflies hanging about over their heads. 
They again told the others, but the others didn't believe or even care to listen and they kept their heads bowed low to the dark ground. 
So the few came together and shrugged and continued sharing and their hearts grew brighter and brighter, and in a moment they looked up and there were dozens of fireflies flitting about above them. They were amazed and happy and they realized they were the ones creating those little lights. 
So this time they decided to let the others stare at the ground in darkness,  in hope that they will start to see the ground light up and look up to the sky. 
So again the few came together and started communicating, sharing ideas, sharing emotions, experiences and traumas, and the light in the room eventually became so bright that the walls and the floor and the ceiling were glowing and there were too many fireflies to count flitting about around them. 
They again looked at the others, but although the entire space was glowing they still were sitting with their heads bowed low to the ground. 
The few felt sad for them but they rationalized that eventually they will raise their heads if they just kept doing what they were doing. 
Some time passed and by now the room was so bright that they could see a door, a way out, and they were so happy and surprised for they had completely forgotten that they wanted to get out. 
They looked back at the others and a few started to raise their heads and follow, some tried to get them to stop, and a few listened but some got up and joined the few and their hearts started glowing as well. 
They all started to walk to the door and the first few opened it into a magical place where anything was possible and they walked through the door. Some others hesitated but eventually walked through and then others grew fearful and only stood at the door looking, but would not go through and then there were others still sitting on the floor with their heads bowed low to the ground. 

Saturday, May 30, 2020

I bet you never thought

I bet you never thought
That it would end this way
That I would back away
I bet you never thought
Your reign would end
And I would never come back in
I bet you never thought
That it was you that pushed me away
Even today
I bet you never thought 
That I'm the strong one
As my power grew brighter and brighter
You grew dim
I bet you never thought 
That my light would be so bright
That my mind would be so sharp
I bet you never thought 
That I turned out to be in the light
And it's been you sitting in the darkness 
I bet you never thought 
That I would turn away
And be aware of your ways
I bet you never thought 
The sharpness of the pain
As you watch me, I walk away
I bet you never thought 
That you would be reading this and weeping

Sunday, May 17, 2020

why didn't I

Why didn't I 
Ask when you were there
Why didn't i 
think of it
To spend more time 
To connect
To grab you while you were there 
Why didn't I 
Hug you tighter 
Flirt deeper
Pull harder
Why didn't I 
Let you know that your the one I want
The one on my level 
Why didn't I 
Taste you touch you while you there 
Why didn't I 
Bring you closer to those deep spaces
Why didn't I 
Ensure that I would see your face again
Feel you again
Why didn't I 
Seize the moment
Why didn't I 
Hold my breath and face my fear
Why didn't I 
Seize the moment
Hold your beauty
Why didn't I 
Will I 
Is it
Possible 
To see you again
Why didn't I
Just let you in
Why didn't I 
Because if I had
I wouldn't sit here in regret
Wondering 
Why didn't I 

Monday, May 11, 2020

On our path

On our path 
We are always protected
On our path
Our feet are always guided 
On our path 
There may be ups and downs 
But 
On our path
The cycle will always end 
On our path 
We may encounter the darkest of nights
But
On our path
The light will always follow 
While we are
On our path
We are the creators 
On our path
In stillness do not wallow 

Thursday, April 30, 2020

The Sun

The heat of it
The burning away
Purification 
Choices 
The same or different 
Different or the same
Breathing releasing 
Releasing the past
Breathing in the future
Changes 
The Phoenix 
Death
Rising again
Renewed brand new
Safe inside inner spaces
Shining out 
Shine
Illuminating all the spaces
Accepting and embracing 
All that is 
All that has been created 
All that has been destroyed 
Breathe in the new exhale the old
Transformation 

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Broken

You eventually came around to me
I became your eventuality 
After the pain
After the brokenness that couldn't be fixed
After decisions have been made that will scar all those who tried to get close to me
Then is when you started to see me
When it was to late
When early on you choose your fate
Breathing darkness into me
Trying to weaken me
To break me
Until I was on the floor 
Underneath the earth before my birth
Until I was suffocating from the pain
Trying to scrub away your stain
When all I could do is pray 
Going through self doubt 
Wondering how I could ever possibly heal from such brokenness
How will I ever even find the pieces 
When they're so shattered how can I even begin to put them together
Or find them 
How can I even find those pieces of myself
Everything ceases and falls into itself 
Ah the pain the pain 
Living in hell made by someone else 
Created from darkness 
Trying to extinguish the light 
He tried to extinguish my light 
Take all that I am made of destroy all that I'm made of
So I can feel dead like him empty 
Empty simply empty 

Friday, August 17, 2018

My Cat Bella

On my travels I've had many ups and downs, times of the deepest sadness and times of pure joy. The one being I've missed the most is my cat Bella. When living in Florida when I was going through bad times, she would always be there to comfort me and I miss that so much.

You see me and Bella have been together for many lifetimes, she's been my cat companion for a very long time and I always think of her and I love her deeply, we are connected through love.

My recent travel was very difficult, I was deeply saddened by the circumstances and so I decided to visit a park nearby my hotel. Soon I realized that this park is literally full of cats! You can imagine my excitement! As I was walking along petting as many cats that would allow me to I came upon her, a cat that looked exactly like my Bella.

You see Bella is a Norwegian forest cat, with long black fur with some brown undertones. A very rare and antique breed. This cat looked exactly, exactly like her! So I bent down and said "hi Bella can I pet you? Bella can I pet you?" She immediately started purring and came over to me and rubbing her body against me. Then she put her front paws on my lap, I took this as a signal that I was allowed to pick her up, so I did and we walked over to a nearby bench. She stayed with me the entire time I was there, just laying with me, she even let me kiss her nose the way I used to kiss Bella, just giving me her love.

I am so grateful for her love! I needed it so badly! I know Bella was channelled there, I know it was her! She knew that I needed her!

I just wanted to share the deep connection we have with our animal friends, and they are there when we need them no matter where we are. And also how grateful I am for this connection and the deep connection with the universe.